20 Things I’ve Learned This Summer

I stayed home with my 3.5 year old this summer. I wasn’t in school, he wasn’t in school; it’s just been me and him…all day….every day. It’s been an enlightening experience! Here’s just a FEW things I’ve learned in the past 68 days:

1) Not everyone was meant to be a stay at home mom…I am one of those people. It was great when he was younger, but now that he can talk, it’s a little maddening

2) Preschoolers can eat an insane amount of food, yet not gain a single, solitary pound…conclusion: they’re not true humans yet

3) No matter how well you think you may know your child, do not blink when he’s standing next to a swimming pool, no matter how dry your eyes may be

4) 2 hours is only a long nap when your kid is in school. When you’re home and looking for a break, it’s only long enough for you to choke down a sandwich, get the mail and sit on the couch.

5) Little boys are great at peeing through that little gap between the bowl of the toilet and the actual seat

6) When you babysit for a friend and bring your child along, bring earplugs, kids think its fun to try and ‘out-scream’ each other

7) There is truly no crayon like a ‘Crayola’ crayon

8) The kitchen is never going to clean itself

9) You’d be surprised how much crocheting you can get done if you pack up and head to the park, your kid will come back to you only when he wants water

10) It’s not the end of the world to make a large vat of popcorn and plant your kid in front of a series of Disney movies for the day so that you can catch up on your work

11) Your kid will stop harassing you for at least 10 minutes if he thinks you’re pooping – when in reality you’re just sitting there on the toilet lid, flipping through the newest edition of Pottery Barn Kids, enjoying the silence

12) 3 year olds are better at using a computer mouse than you may think

13) Hannah Montana and Miley Cirus are the same person – well, what d’ya know!

14) There is a ‘For Kids Only’ music channel on cable…it’s too mature for a preschooler. There is a ‘Toddler Tunes’ music channel on cable…it’s irritating.

15) Just because your kid says ‘Mommy!’ 50 times in a row, does not mean he actually wants your attention. Sometimes he just can’t help himself

16) KidsBop has expanded to rap

17) My kid is getting just as sick of me as I am of him…for the past week, every morning during breakfast he now asks ‘Are we going to school today?’

18) You do less laundry if you don’t leave the house every day, because your preschooler could care less about walking around all day in a tank top and Spiderman underwear

19) You are more protective of your children than you think – but you won’t realize it until you’re on the playground ready to fight the 6 year old who just took your kid’s shovel right out of his hands and knocked him over

20) My best friend in the whole world is a 3yo with a mohawk, and I will begin to miss all this time we spend together 2wks after school starts…

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